Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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