I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
