Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was like eating out sand paper
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
