Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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