im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
