dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a hot homeless man
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
