Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
