he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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