I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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