Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
