So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
