I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
