David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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