hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize