Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
