Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
