They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
