I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
