shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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