Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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