So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
