Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
