The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
