Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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