I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just threw up on my dentist
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
