escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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