HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
