woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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