i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
