I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
