Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
