I'm really into asian looking animals
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
