It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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