I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
