Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize