Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
