if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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