How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
