dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
