But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
