Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
