and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
