Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize