Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
