Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
