What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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