69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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