You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
