i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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