All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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