Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
