Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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