This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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