What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize