Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
