In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Randomize
