Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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