yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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