How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
